The Chronicles of Desprorado

Loose Sand...

At times, I questioned myself. Now?
I've no more doubts that I'm perfectly fine.

Since the fault doesn't lies with me. Then, it's none of my business anymore. I can only do so little. They are like loose sand. It is just too bad that I can’t be the glue to hold them together. Poor organizing skills and an optimistic yet dreamlike attitude will only direct them to disappointment.

When I look at the so-called ‘barbaric’ people playing soccer on the basketball court, I regret to say that they are at least united together. Yet, looking back at our own ‘people’, I’m totally wounded. There is this lack of unity among them. I would cite 3 historical moments in time to back up my claims.

On the ‘big’ night when a fight almost broke up, I saw 1 guy against a group of barely legal age teens along with 2 policemen. Hence, I call out to the rest of them to stand together. A few responded and I’ve no idea what the others were doing. Continuing to shoot the basketball perhaps? It may be true that our guy (Forever 18 years old) is a hero. He dares to speak up and call the police and all. It’s good to have heroes but I would rather not to have heroes out there saving the world while the rest of them are continuing their lives as if nothing had happened. As long as our hero is around, we would be safe. No worries, someone will step out and be a hero.

The organizing of T-rex chalet party. Poor responses. Lack of ‘care and concern’. (Refer to previous posts for details)

The breaking up of the team, if one could call that a team that is. I remembered saying that if they want me to join the team, then they must really make it a team. I relented and joined the ‘team’. Needless to say, it crumbles soon after a bunch of games with rival teams. Too much infighting and lack of responses. No respect is given to the captain as many questioned his drills and so on. Everyone can criticize but no one can plan up other drills. Talk is cheap, action’s much more expensive perhaps? That is why no one bother to do.

The captain and players were also not taking themselves seriously and were often late for practices or did not put in more effort during practices. I do not deny that I’ve also not put in my best effort at times. It’s simply because I really cannot work with certain people who does not know the meaning of basketball. As a result, I was often reprimanded by others when I played ‘badly’. The actual fact is I’ve given up hope to play with some people. I simply can’t work with senseless people like the boy who cried wolf. I’ve tried... Ultimately, the downfall is inevitable (unavoidable).

Based on these 3 historical events, I can safely say that I’m right. Loose sand just cannot stick together, no one is going to gel them up. Even if one tried to glue them back, the result may be disappointing. I’ve my fair share of heartbreaks.

Like I’ve said before, Desprorado’s willing to be the fool again and again. I've also mentioned the below sentence before...

One day, you might understand my effort.
One day, you might appreciate my effort.
One day, you might acknowledge my effort.
One day, you might be grateful for my effort.
One day, you might express thanks for my effort.
Yet...
One day, I may not reciprocate the “feelings”...

posted by Desprorado @ 23:43 0 comments

AM classes = ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES


Lesson Learnt– When a dog bites you. You do not bite it back.

The reasoning is simple because it’s true that a sane human do not stoop down to the level of dogs (They are actually nice creatures, this is just an example). A rational person would probably just let the dog off or ask the SPCA to capture the crazed dog. Humans do not ever bite back at the dog. It indicates that the human is ‘stupid’ or silly to get back at such a lowly animal. Hence, it would be best to just let it go.

A good example would be the taunting made by insensitive people like a self-named “God (Old Man)”, I knew that I’m not going to be easily let an immature person spoils my mood. It does not matter that he insults you, your skills or even your entire ancestors from the 18th generation onwards. Why should I get angry? There’s no point in getting angry as you cannot control the other people’s mouth. Instead, you can control your own anger or taunt him back and let him have a taste of his own medicine. A genius would not let such tactless people to have the opportunity to make fun at him as well as making him feeling angry and irritated. A smart person should remain composed to deter the hurtful remarks and continue doing what he feels is correct (supported by facts).

Next, one should also learn to keep his cool unless it’s really over the ‘limit’. Even then, it’s still unwise to be behind bars because of such laughable and insignificant event. It is a fact that most murders happen because of such “rage” that is uncontrollable. Husbands killing wives over the remote control, affairs etc. ‘Boys’ killing other ‘boys’ because of toys, games and girls. Killed in fights over “staring incident”...

At times, some murderers would reflect on their mistakes, repent on their mistakes and really think that it is extremely bird-brained to commit a mistake in their moment of RAGE. In my case, I would rather let the dog get away with the bite than be jailed for killing it in a moment of madness. Unless, the dog is endangering other people’s life then I would consider calling the SPCA to put it to sleep or lock it up.

My life’s much precious than all these... Why should I? Some people just cannot keep their mouth shut or their mouth will sprout elephants tusks (Chinese term – Meaning foul-mouthed). Just remember one thing, do not challenge GOD.(Inside joke) Lol~ You will surely lose...

Hah~ Remember one of my previous entry,

“NOW... I’m already irritated by the lack of sleep, as well as lack of responses (another blog-worthy story) and the taunting/screaming by one of the soccer player. I FINALLY ERUPTED!! I shouted out something like “Hey! You don’t force us to call the police OK!”. When I shouted out the words, I’m in fits of ANGER. The soccer players began to sort of square up to me. Their “leader” (an under probation person or tagged with the police tag) began to ask me “Why do you need to shout at us? We are also people okay?” Then, another soccer player add in more fire by saying “You think we are dogs? Shout at us for what?” Freaks... I was trembling... But not in fear, instead, in ANGER. I proceed to talk with the “leader”, but the situation was quite difficult because all of us are still hot-headed. He demanded why I shouted at them, I replied that they were threatening us by saying they are going to rambut us. OF course I’m furious. Then, he dare to have the cheek to say “We only say say only. Did we rambut you all?” Too bad.. I did not think of a good reply of “We only say say to call the police only. Did we call?” Of course, some of my basketball friends were also helping me to “talk” with the leader. I forgot the exact dialogues but it was interesting as I’ve never felt that “trembling” feeling before. I forgot how we managed to solve the problem but I did remember shaking hands with the leader twice to calm him down. Do not ask me why. But it works to a certain extent. In the end, there were no bloodsheds (I’m not a fighter also). There was no stopping us from playing basketball, nor do they stopped playing soccer. They still played full court while we played half court 3-on-3. Amazingly, a few players from both sides said sorry when they accidentally hit the ball at us. Obviously, they did not hit us with any hard balls nor do we purposely crash into them or anything. It would be a night in the history of the basketball court.”

This incident made me realized that I must always remain calm even though I’m already feeling angry. I must talk reasons with a reasonable person. There’s no point in talking to “fools”, they can’t understand you. Earn their respect or at least let them be aware of your existence. Lastly... Do not ever challenge others to a fight or accept their challenges. Both sides would be hurt and it’s meaningless to fight for your right. Gentlemen use words, facts and reasons to spar with one another. (Like the always 18 years old fellow) If you like to fight and die like a fool, then you would be better off joining the terrorists. Be wise; use non-violence and truth to win over others.

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Mahatma Gandhi

"The Truth is far more powerful than any weapon of mass destruction". Mahatma Gandhi

Please do research on Mahatma Gandhi. His views and beliefs had inspired Dr. Martin Luther Kings Jr, The Dalai Lama, Lech Wałęsa, Cesar Chavez, Aung San Suu Kyi, Benigno Aquino Jr., Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela... Incredible. Even, Albert Einstein said of Gandhi: "Generations to come will scarcely believe that such a one as this walked the earth in flesh and blood." He also once said," I believe that Gandhi's views were the most enlightened of all the political men in our time. We should strive to do things in his spirit: not to use violence in fighting for our cause, but by non-participation in anything you believe is evil." Now, that’s what I call “god-like”.

PS – So far, Banana had erupted and grape had burst. Heh.. Wondering when watermelon will collide? Haha.. “Jiu zai jing tian (x2)”

posted by Desprorado @ 00:34 0 comments

Cold War...

It has been two weeks... I’m still having a cold war with my dad. A ridiculously, incredibly and silly miscommunication like a cruel joke played out. Only thing is that, it’s not funny...

(Loosely translated in Chinese)

Me: I’ve failed my driving test.
Dad: YOU HAVE FAILED!!?? (The fellow blockmates from 2-3 floors up/down should be able to hear him)
Me: Ya...
Dad: YOU HAVE FAILED!?
Me: How many times must I tell you that? (Sounding abit irritated)
Dad: Cham liao lor. (You’re doomed) You failed liao (already) still tell me ar?
Me: Why? Cannot fail ar?
Dad: (says something sarcastic)
Me: Why? I’m using my own money what. I did not get one cent from you OK!!
Dad: You are going to work like a bull or a horse in the future.
Me: (Speechless... Close to a volcanic eruption)
Dad: What to do?
Me: (Speechless... Went out to play basketball soon)

Now, luckily that person was my dad. I cannot imagine anyone saying that to me. Fair weather friends would probably not be friends anymore. Good friends would also take a few weeks and months before my anger subside. If any other idiots dare to mock at me, he would most probably be hanging grape juice in the hospital bed till now, which is like a fortnight?

Hah~ The joke’s not over yet. My ‘foolish’ dad had actually heard wrongly. He ‘thought’ that I’ve failed my polytechnic studies... What’s worse? Me? Failing? LOL!~ Although I’m not done very well academically, but the possibility of me failing is as close to striking lottery. Then, he did not ‘talk’ to me anymore. Neither did I attempt to ‘talk’ with him since it wasn’t my fault that he misunderstood me in the first place. He’s not to be blamed entirely also... Now what? It’s just a silly misunderstanding... Who cares?

Imagine that... Your own dad not talking to you for two weeks due to an idiotic misunderstanding. Not a single word uttered. His face is more important then his son that he cannot even says a single word of “Sorry”. This is serious AP and I know that I could have initiated the conversation. Yet, I knew that I’ll not say sorry or start the talking simply because I’ve my own pride as well. It is also a good thing because I’m going to be in control of my own life from now on. I’m not going to ask him for a cent. I’ll beg, borrow or steal to survive... For the debts that I owe him (monetary and personal), it would be impossible to quantify everything. He’s still my dad after all... That’s all I can say. Hah.. He’s stubborn and I’ve inherited some of his bad genes as well.

Heck... I will just toughen myself up, get things on my own and do whatever it takes. It’s a good opportunity to be almost independent also. Hah... Let’s see who shall surrender first. This shall be a long battle... Cold war.

PS – Apologies for a few not up-to-standard entries these days. Feeling insipid but I would be fine. If things are good, my next entry shall be about AM classes.

posted by Desprorado @ 19:09 0 comments

==Jobs==

Just realised that I've done a helluva jobs before. So I thought I shall share with peeps on the pros and cons of some of the jobs that I've done. Starting with my very first official job.

Security Officer - 16 years old
Location - One of those dormitory for mainly foreign workers (think blangadeshi, china man, m'sian, thai, viet etc)
Working hours - 8 AM - 8 PM or (8 PM to 8 AM includes 2-3 hours of sleep)
Working days - 6 days week
Pay - $40 per day
Days or Months lasted - 1+ month

Pros - Nothing to do. Only do a bit of clocking (taking a small device to designated points and scan those points.) Clocking is considered quite a major event as you would often see some things interesting. Writing down visitors IC and issue a contractor or visitor pass. Having 'fun' chasing after cars that happens to park at the dormitory (I've no idea why also but 'management' will scold if you don't do that.) Basically you have the time to do whatever you want and is also the best time to think things through or read some books or something. Physical fitness need not be tough as you will most probably be sitting all day long.

Cons - Same as above. To quote a friend "StupiD Job, HIGHLY NOT Recommend" You must be mentally tough to withstand the long and often boring hours or you would go kuku (crazy) and scratch your head for years... You may consider switching jobs to a ant-logists, rat-logist or cockroach-logist after observing how they move, their diets and their level of resistance before dying. There are plenty of ways to 'K' those creatures and all you need is a fertile imagination...

Misconceptions - Security officer must catch thieves... Security must be very fit. Security must know the roads around the area well. Security are friends with the ministers (inside joke).

Lessons learnt - "Time is never wasted when you have wasted all away."

Career Prospect - Not much of a career advancement... Would be suitable for retirees though as they can often reminisce about their "glorious days". I'm not bias against the elderly but it is often the case.

Shall be continued....

posted by Desprorado @ 22:42 0 comments

Success’s my only *********** option, failure’s not
**************************************************

Spoilers - This song is strictly for adults only as it contain crude language. I chose to blog it down because I can relate to this song.


Artist:Eminem
Title:Lose Yourself

*Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

[Verse 1]Yo, his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There is vomit on his sweater already
Moms forgettin' he's nervous
But on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth but the words won't come out
He's choking, how? Everybody's jokin' now
The clock's run out, time's up, over BLOW!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked, he's so mad
But he won't give up that easy, no he won't have it
He knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that
But he's broke, he's so sad that he knows
When he goes back to this mobile home
That's when it's back to the lab again, yo
This whole rhapsody, better go capture this moment
And hope it don't collapse on him

[Chorus]You better lose yourself in the music
The moment you own it you better never let it go, oh
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Cuz opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
You better lose yourself in the music
The moment you own it you better never let it go, oh
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Cuz opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
You better

[Verse 2]Soul's escapin' through this hole's that is gaping
This world is mines for the taking
Make me king as we move toward a new world order
A normal life is boring
But superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, homie grows hotter
He blows us all over, these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the Globetrotter
Lonely roads got him
He knows he's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold ya nose cuz here goes the cold water
These hoes don't want him no mo', he's cold prada
They moved on to the next shmo who flows
Who nose dove and sold nada
And so the so proper
His toll, it unfolds and I suppose it's old, partner
But the beat goes on
Duh duh doe, duh doe, dah dah dah dah
[Chorus]

[Verse 3]No more games, I'ma change for due called rage
Tear this muthafuckin' roof off like two dogs caged
I was playin' in the beginnin', the mood all changed
I've been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin' and stepped writin' the next cipher
Best believe somebody's payin' the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the
Fact that I can't get by with my nine to five
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz, man, these goddamn food stamps don't buy diapers
And there's no movie, there's no Mekhi Pfifer
This is my life and these times are so hard
And it's gettin' even harder tryin' to feed and water
My seed plus teeter-totter
Caught up between bein' a father and a pre-madonna
Baby momma drama, screamin' on her
Too much for me to wanna stay in one spot
Another damn or not has gotten me to the point
I'm like a snail, I've got to formulate a plot
Or end up in jail or shot
Success is my only muthafuckin' option, failure's not
Momma love you but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's Lot
So here I go, it's my shot
Feet fail me not
Cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got
[Chorus]

[Outro]Duh dooYou can do anything you set your mind to, ma

You may think I’m crazy. So be it. You may think that I’m still upset by failures. So be it. Cuz when I’m in the mood. No one besides myself understands me. Anyway, failure is the act of losers who have lost hope. Instead of looking back at their mistakes, they failed to see it. I acknowledge that I may be wrong. However, failure only serves as another step towards apparent success.

If I said that I did not fail, it would be lying to everyone. I failed yet I did not fail. It is because in my mind, I’ve just not succeeded yet. I shall prove myself... Talk is cheap and my actions shall prevail. I can either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. I chose both.

posted by Desprorado @ 11:00 0 comments

Doing the right things

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said the following words
(African-American who won the nobel prize award. Do look up his achievements if possible. His greatness is beyond description.)

Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - is it popular?
But conscience asks the question - is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right.

That is what I'm going to do. I've found that I'll not be 'shy' anymore when it comes to doing the right things. Based on some of my past histories, I've dare to complain against a security officer. I've dare (courage) to ask the town council to repair the rim. I've dare to argue against the soccer players. I've dare to wrote my 'opinions' against my best friend. SO... I'm going to do what is right. I'm not really a person with a strong sense of righteousness (justice), but it's my life. I can either let others to lead me or choose to influence others. It's now or never... Yup.. It sounds familiar doesn't it? You may like to listen to Bon Jovi's song - It's My Life.

PS - My watermelon friend did admit some of his shortcomings. He did not blame me or whatever. Hah~ It was a miscommunication. A good miscommunication indeed. Anyway, I've a few more words for him. Lol.. "Be discipline if you really want to do something BIG in life. Let your actions do the talking and I'll always 'support' you. Haha.. Nope.. I can't support you financially or physically. Lol! I can only support you spiritually." Btw, I've realize that I'm a SNAG as well... Desprorado's a SNAG!!? He's supposed to be a bold outlaw who does not care how others view him. That's who I am.

posted by Desprorado @ 10:44 0 comments

================
TO WATERMELON...
================
Note: You may not want to read this but I am going to blog it out anyway because you are my ‘best’ friend. I may even lose you as a friend but who cares?

Let’s recap some historical events.

Have you ever wondered why your mom bothers to ask you to eat? Asking you if you need this or do you need that? It is because she cares for you. I know your character well yet not very well. You do not like to be ‘forced’ to do things. BUT most of the times you do not have an idea on what you are going to do. A good example would be your education. You are not stupid... You just do not like people (teachers, parents and friends) to nag at you. The more they tell you that “Education is for your own good. In the future, you want to be roadside cleaner ar?” The more you dislike studying...

Let’s think about it... Our parents, friends and teachers have always choose the most appropriate path for us, you may not realize that when you are still a kid. Come to think about it, have you ever regret learning Mathematics (counting money), English and Chinese (communication) and Science (logic)? Most people if not all will answer “No. I’m glad that I know math that is why I’m earning money now and not getting cheated by the cashier who counted wrongly.” To sidetrack, I know that I’m going to further my education this time because I’m doing it for myself. I’m not doing it for my parents’ face (pride); I’m doing it for myself...

At the very least, my best friend knows that he do not want to be a roadside cleaner. The bad thing is that he does not know what he really wants to do. Right now, I ain’t expecting you to straight away give me a reply that “I want to be a $5,000 per month cleaner (inside joke)”. There is still time to think about your own future, around 2 years to be exact. I only hope that you can slowly think of what you are going to do with your life. Your mum is not always going to be there for you, I am not purposely cursing her. Sorry... Likewise, my mum is not going to be there for me always. This is reality.

Like it or not, you may think that I’m a busybody. BUT when you see one of your closest friends smoking, would you let him to continue with the knowledge that smoking kills or would you rather nag at him, giving him a tight slap or just breaking off that friendship? I would rather not know him in the first place. True to say, you are not committing any crimes or doing anything against your conscience. BUT you have been “sleeping” for a long time; I feel that it is time to shake you up. It doesn’t matter if you like my opinions or not as long as I know that I’m doing the right things. I cannot bear to see you wasting your time away and before you know it, I’m already dead... Let me explain myself. I’m not looking down at cleaners or low-wage workers as long as they do their job, I will respect them as well. I understand that it is not pleasant to be cleaning up after other people so I sincerely salute them.

Let’s have another example, you struck lottery. So what are you going to do with the money? I don’t think you would know what you want to do with the money. Sure, you may crave for some worldly possessions, never work again and ‘enjoy’ everyday. BUT is that all? Is this the best you can do? C’mon... Even if you want to strike lottery, you must know what to do with the money also or it would all go down to the drain. Nevertheless, I still hope you are able to achieve your ‘dream’ of striking lottery at the age of 21.

Next, is our MSN conversation today...

Watermelon says:
heard there gt 1 shop call xxx house
Watermelon says:
i wan go there cc
Desprorado says:
arbo u jio XYZ go there lah
Watermelon says:
no need lah... i still thinking wan go or not
Desprorado says:
let me ask u
Desprorado says:
wt will u be doing if u dun go?
Watermelon says:
??/
Desprorado says:
wt will u be doing if u dun go?
Watermelon says:
at hm lah
Desprorado says:
at hm do wt?
Watermelon says:
nt sure
Desprorado says:
nua....

He did not reply after this. He’s probably angry at me? Why? Who cares?
By the way, “arbo” means why not, “jio” means ask, “nua” means slack, XXX is not a pornography shop and XYZ is a person. Lol... I edited the names and so on to protect the identity of the persons involved.

I shall ask you another question. Why did I bother to say all these things and risk damaging our years of friendship? The answer is simple. I care for you. Ewww... Sounds so gay....

Even if you do not like green tea, you should acknowledge that it is quite a healthy drink. Since it is a healthy drink, why not taking it one sip at a time? I’m not asking you to drink the whole can at once. I will be pleased if you can take in a little bit and try to adapt to the taste. Initially, it may not seem nice but once you are able to take it. You know that it is good for you. Good for your health as well. For once, I hope you can adapt to the taste and fight away the fears of drinking green tea. At the end of the day, no one can force you to drink green tea. The decision must be made by you yourself. It would be an achievement if you manage to overcome green tea. At least you know that you are not afraid of drinking green tea anymore. You can even tell others that you have done it. My last question of the day, “What will you do if you weren’t afraid?”

posted by Desprorado @ 00:22 0 comments

Top 1000 reasons why I failed my driving test...

FYI (For your information), I’ve scored an astonishing record of 48 demerit points and 1 immediate failure. Currently, I have 2 schools of thoughts.

“The tester would surely let you pass if you are as good as you claim to be. If you did not make any faults, you will surely pass.”

AND

“When the tester wants to fail you, he would find a lot of ways to do so. Every move you make, every thing that you do or did not do. You are going to get penalized for it.”
(It’s exactly like an old saying “When the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways. When the heart is unwilling, it will find a thousand excuses.”) I find this true. You may think it’s a case of sour grapes whereby I claimed the grapes are sour when I cannot get to eat it. A proper definition would be “Denial of the desirability of something after one has found out that it cannot be reached or acquired” from http://www.answers.com/.

Let’s have a recap of the “mistakes” in my 48 points.

For my NARROW COURSE (circuit course) like S course, crank course and directional change. I scored 0 points.

For PARKING (both vertical and parallel), I scored 2 points for “requiring additional reverse movement”

For SLOPE/GRADIENT, I scored another 2 points as the vehicle rolled back for less than 1 metre.

For MOVING OFF, I scored 2 points for “delay in moving off”

For FORWARD DRIVING, I scored 6 points for “failing to keep left”, 2x4=8 points for “veer off course”, 2x4=8 points for “change lane abruptly”, 2x2=4 points for “fail to use the appropriate gear”, an immediate failure for “fail to give way to traffic with right-of-way” and another 8 points for “cause other vehicles to slow down or take evasive action”.

For JUNCTION, I scored 2 points for “incorrect positioning” and 2x2=4 points for wide turn and sharp turn respectively.

For SAFETY CHECK, I did not score a point.

For BRAKING, I scored 2 points for “incorrect braking”.

That is it... 48 points. WHOOP!! I’ve no idea whether to be happy that I might have broke their record for scoring the most points or should I be sad that I was such a “lousy” driver? 48 POINTS!!!! 48 POINTS!! YES! I’VE BROKE THE GUINESS WORLD RECORD! (Pardon the craziness, but it’s really ridiculous to score so much point) To me, I can accept failure if I’m really not that good. BUT I cannot accept failing for the wrong reasons like “veering off course”, “incorrect braking”, “delay in moving off” and many more. I strongly suspect that the tester was really too generous with the points.



How I scored an immediate failure and 8 points.
I’ve gotten an immediate failure and 8 points (cause other vehicles to slow down or take evasive action) for this. After the test, the tester even agrees that the blue car is a learner driver and may be slow or lousy also but you should have let him cross first. I’ve 2 views on this incident.

The angelic view – The learner driver did not signal that he/her is going into the circuit. I should have been more alert instead of making an ASS of U & ME. ASSUME... So what even if the yellow car behind is going into the circuit? It is a big mistake on my part..?

The devilish view – That blue car is really an a**hole. It hesitates before moving off hence creating the impression that I’ve cause the blue car to slow down. As for failing to give way to traffic with right-of-way, I “feel” that I can move out already since the yellow car is turning in but the tester did not felt that way so he gave me an immediate failure for this. I’ve no comments...

So in the circuit I’ve only scored 2 points or maybe a few more points for things like “incorrect braking” and such “mistakes”. This means that I’ve scored almost 40+ points while I’m on the road. THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I could have failed 3 times for that amount of points given... This is utterly bullsh*t...

Now, I do realize why my poly friend says that “Testers are biased. You need to have another few more tries in order to pass. When I attempt and pass on my 3rd try, I’ve made some mistakes as well but the tester also did not say anything” Was it really because of that? My first test ended just like that?
That friend also said that he was “sick” of driving tests. I agreed with him completely although I’ve only failed once. I still love to drive but since the tests are going to be so discriminating, it creates the “sick” feeling. Like him, I just want to get the test/s over and done with. My bank account is almost dried up and I cannot afford to fail again. I do not know what will happen... I may be going to army soon and I really hate to fail for the wrong reasons... I’m getting sick and tired because of the test and not the driving...

Isn’t it ironic? Delay in moving off and cause other vehicles to slow down or take evasive action. It’s like kena (getting) screwed from the front and the back at the same time. If the traffic is heavy then how? You get 2 points for that. If you attempt to be hero and chiong then congratulations, you earned yourself 8 points for “causing other vehicles to slow down or take evasive action” and maybe also an immediate failure for failing to give way to traffic with the right-of-way. Did you see that? No matter what you do, you are wrong and the tester is always right. The tester’s view and your views are different. They are like god when they are in the car, they decide your fate. I’ve known several people who prefer females to males, white to black to Asian, young to old, certain religion to another religion and so much more. This is what I called DISCRIMINATION.

I’ve perhaps a thousand reasons and excuses why I failed my driving test. I shall list down some interesting and possibly illogical ones.

1. I did not touch watermelon’s stomach before going to the test. That’s why I don’t have luck. (Inside joke)
2. The tester has a quota that they must fail x amount of people. So I must fail.
3. There are too many people on the road so they must fail you.
4. They need to earn your money so you must fail at least once or else tester would be out of their jobs.
5. They expect you to be “perfect”. No ‘incorrect braking’ and all those BS. You need to be perfect in order to pass when they are not perfect themselves.
6. My forehead is carved with a “Please fail me” that only the tester can see.
7. The tester was having a bad day and he took it out on me. Then, I will take it out on the next ‘poor’ fellow who tries to play a fool with me.
8. My back has a “Screw Me. I enjoyed getting screwed” note that I don’t remember seeing. Only god knows...
9. My mum telling me to remember the 4 digits of my car number when I pass. (I’m not joking. May sounds funny but its nothing but the truth. My mum did say that.)
10. My driving centre car number is 88. (What an auspicious number. No Joke!)
11. The tester is jealous that I’m taller and better looking than him. (Opinions vary)
12. My dad did not give me any support.
13. I lacked confidence? (Nope. Not true. I may be a bit shaky because of the tester sitting beside me but I’ve confidence in myself and my driving skills because when I’m undergoing revision, my instructor did not reprimand me much and that is a good sign considering the fact that they will always try to ‘lecture’ you. No comments mean that they did not find anything wrong with you. They will not praise you even if you are a good enough driver. The closest ‘praise’ that I’ve gotten is “You can drive, just relax for your test and good luck”.)
14. I’m a bad driver that is why I got 48 points and 1 immediate failure. (The ‘facts’ seems like that. I’ve really had no idea...)
15. I did not pray before going out. (Next time I will do that. Better pray to get a kind and benevolent tester and good traffic conditions rather than depending on my 3-legged-cat skills)
16. I did not attempt to please the “god” in the car. I should have help him to polish his boots or at least give him some kopi money (bribery).
17. April 10th is not my day. The tester is not my tester. The test route is not my route.
18. I’m overconfident? (Nah.. I can distinguish between confident and overconfident. I wasn’t cocky but the tester may not think so...)
19. The traffic conditions are not good.
20. The learner driver dropped a bomb on me.
21. I should be more cautious yet brave enough to change lane.
22. I should have brought myself red underwear for “good” luck?
23. I’ve placed too much pressure on myself. My family and friends also expect me to pass. (Kinda true. I’ve sacrificed a lot of things in order to ‘fail’. I may have gave myself a lot of stress unconsciously.)

My feelings are mixed now. A bit of sadness, lots of anger and an unknown feeling that I can’t find the appropriate term to describe. For no good reasons, I was slapped in the face. If anyone knows or has learned about Chinese history, they should remember someone by the name of Yue Fei, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yue_Fei). Like him, I was executed for “no reasons needed (Mo Xu You- 莫須有)” Coincidentally, he happens to be a Hakka (same dialect race as me). Hah~ Similarly, I wished that I could be like him and say “Huan Wo He Shan (Give back my rivers and mountains)”.

PS – I’ve got a crazy idea. If I’m so fortunate to meet with the same tester again, maybe I will langa (crash) the car or attempt to drift the car. So that he would know that I’m for real. Then... I can go ahead and booked my 3rd test. I can only control the car, if the traffic conditions are not good or the tester tries to screw me again. There’s nothing I can do but I will most likely perform some stunts. Hah.. I’m Desprorado!

I’ve another idea... Let’s see if I can develop that idea. Will blog it down if it came true. I do not want to carry such high hopes. Oops... I did not get the 4 digits... Who knows? I may struck 4d for the 'lucky' number.

posted by Desprorado @ 22:26 0 comments

I've failed...

Details shall be revealed tomorrow.. Brain's not functioning well, emotions are taking over.. Felt cheated, screwed and ****** up. I'm more angry than sad. It's a joke to score 48 demerit points (passing rate is 18 or below).. Tired.. Going to have a "good" rest..... Sun will still rise tomorrow, no big deal.

posted by Desprorado @ 23:16 0 comments

Optimism and pessimism

Based on a true story – Desprorado’s story

Around 4-5 months ago, I made a decision. A life changing decision, I decided to continue my driving lessons. Nah... It’s true and I’m serious. That decision changes my life or rather, it opens up my mind. What’s the big deal? It may seem that I’m making a mountain out of a molehill but I’m not.

Faced with the options of giving up or continuing the lessons, I chose the latter. The reason is simply the amount of money I’ve sunk into the lessons. It would be a waste if I did not continue and besides, some of my friends had already gotten their licenses and I would appear to be the black sheep among them without a license. I suppose that is a good form of “peer pressure”. Hah.. Maybe it’s just to save my own ‘face’ or pride but I had spent most of my savings/earnings on the lessons. It’s my money. Every cent spent in the lessons belongs to me. Hence, it would be foolish to waste so much money ($1,800+) and not getting anything in return.

Then, another reason for my decision to continue the lessons is because I’ve just thrown in $45 for the MRT concession pass. My thoughts at that time “Since I’ve already thrown in the $45 for MRT pass, I might as well fully utilize it.” As a result, I renewed my membership with Bukit Batok Driving Centre and Provisional Driving License ($42 & $25).

I finished up the lessons nearing end-December and booked my revisions and final practical test on this coming Monday, Apr 10th. Assuming the traffic conditions are good and I remains cool, calm and confident. My chances should be decent. I can’t guarantee anything. If it happens, it happens. I will just give it a go.

Ok! What is the moral of the story? Where does it incorporate optimism and pessimism? Well, it does not directly link to being optimistic and pessimistic but it did link to being realistic. To me, optimistic and pessimistic does not exist in my dictionary anymore. An optimistic person may look at the bright side of things and live life with zest (passion). On the other hand, a pessimistic person may look at the bleak (dull) side of things and live life with a lack-of-interest mindset. The simplest example would be the weather.

Basic assumptions –
It only starts raining in the afternoon.
The optimistic person fails to plan for bad weather.

Current status - Morning

Optimistic person – The weather seems perfect for a day at the beach. Sun’s shining yet not overpowering. Perfect.

Pessimistic person – The weather seems like its going to rain. Sad... Think I would just stay at home and play Chinese chess or rot.

Desprorado – Aw shucks! The newspaper says afternoon most areas would rain.

Current status – Afternoon

Optimistic person –Hey, its raining, the sun’s so good in the morning. Hai~ *Mood darkens with the weather*

Pessimistic person – It’s raining. Luckily I did not go out to beach. Heng (lucky) ar!

Desprorado – It’s okay. Though it rains, I shall move on to plan B. If plan B fails, there would be a plan C and so on. The weather will not greatly affect my mood. Sure, I certainly hope for a fine weather, but if it rains, it doesn’t matter to me. I’ve got lots of activities to do and I can always chill out and wait for some ‘inspiration’ for blog entries. I will not blame the weather for spoiling my beach trip. Blame (Potential topic for my later entries). Instead of blaming the weather, one can only blame oneself for poor planning.

Conclusion – The optimistic person may not be such an optimistic person as portrayed. He/She may or may turn moody when it rains. However, that is assuming that they really did not plan for rain and they really showed their inner disappointment instead of portraying a smiley face.

Likewise with the pessimistic person, who may be satisfied that his/her predictions are correct yet failing to step out of his/her decomposition state. It’s good to score victories most of the time but it’s miserable to score such victories as it means that the person is really pessimistic. Confused? In simpler terms, the predictions are correct and it rains indeed. However, what is the point even if the pessimists are correct? They would still be rotting at home.

Desprorado’s mindset – Pessimistic and optimistic is nothing. The important point that matters to me is to be honest to oneself. Look at the facts, “Showers with thunder are likely in the afternoon over many areas.” Look at your chances or the probability that you belong to those few areas not affected. The facts do not lie. Do ponder about it. With that, I shall end this post with a century old joke.

One of the best professions is being a meteorologist. They can’t be fired...

PS – The joke may not be funny to some. Do not fret over it. I did not get it as first, maybe it was more a riddle than a joke?

posted by Desprorado @ 01:32 0 comments

Personal Updates

Apologies for the lack of posts for a week... Below is a recap of my happenings over the past week. For those who are not interested, it’s ok to skip this entry.

Due to some technical problems (com spoilt from 30th till April Fool’s Day).

On March 31st to April 2nd, I went to a pre-scheduled advanced birthday chalet. I’ve brought premium scotch whiskey, Chivas Regal. I’ve also brought along my sister’s video camera to film the actions! On the surface, the “birthday” chalet was good. Grape even comments that the buffet was great... I’ve no comments with regards to food.

Luckily or unluckily, Bday boy’s mum and relative were around. A good point is they have prepared, cleaned and ensure a smooth flow of the chalet. Thanks to them.. Bad point was the lack of “wildness” as Bday boy’s (T-rex) mum is around. Nonetheless, I would take the good points over the bad anytime.

Behind the scenes and in my utmost honest opinion, the attitudes of some people left much to be desired. Shall not name names but I shall drop hints. The playstation 2 was operated for hours, not everyone who plays it is guilty but some people are too much. The mahjong/blackjack was only slightly better; I shall make myself clear that not everyone who plays is people with bad attitude. Come to think about it, we are supposed to come and enjoy ourselves, chit-chat, mingle around and wish T-rex a happy birthday in advance. Maybe I’m the odd one out; I’ve a unique idea of what a birthday chalet should look like. Too bad... Our purposes are different; their idea of a birthday chalet is much different from mine. Anyway, if T-rex mum was not around, the chalet would be horrible. Everyone wants to play and have fun but not much people would work for it... Only a handful (includes Desprorado) would work behind the scenes and carry out the ‘dirty’ job.

April 3rd was spent figuring out how to transfer the birthday video to the computer and editing videos. Went to Watermelon’s house to try out also. The transferring part was rather time and space consuming, so many formats etc.

Apr 4th is T-rex and another good friend’s actual birthday. Went for my long awaited driving revisions, then, I rushed to collect his presents (DVD Recorder, ice cream cake and girlfriend included), brought it to his house. We played some board games, chit chat, sang birthday song and gave him the present. Atmosphere was warm and cosy, gift wise I was the minority shareholder, his girlfriend was major shareholder. Unfortunately, what I did not expect was the technical problems in setting up the DVD recorder; hope that the birthday boy could somehow solve it... In a ‘worse’ case scenario, he could have brought the DVD recorder to his girlfriend’s house since they are so close. I doubt that he or she would mind anyway. Or maybe get some technician experts to fix the gift which turns out to be a problem... Perhaps it’s a problem with his TV and maybe we can give him a television set as birthday present next year. Hah~ J/k only.

Apr 5th was mainly spent on driving lessons, editing and burning videos. Yup.. It’s completed and I’ve even added in credits. Not bad, I’ve learnt how to transferred, edit and even use shortcuts. Basically, Windows Movie Maker is a good start for beginners, but it lacked some functions and enhancements. Nevertheless, it was rather fuss-free and operates like PowerPoint and Macromedia Flash.

At night, I went down to the bball court, what else? The boy cried wolf again... He was sleeping and was the last one to arrive at the court. When another latecomer called his house, his parents even helped him to lie by making some sh*tty excuses. It’s true, his mum said that his son was sh*tting in the loo. %$&@*! To make matter worse, he’s the one with the basketball also. WTBF!? Luckily, it rains soon so I just went home without biding them goodbyes. Poor manners on my part but I was fuming mad...

It’s so hard to play basketball nowadays ever since my basketball went burst. Its fine with me as I’m entering National Service soon, maybe a change of scenery would be good too. I dislike playing with liars and people with attitude problems. F*** la, play basketball still must jio (call or SMSs) so many people, all of them are afraid that there would be no one down on the basketball court. Why? What is there to fear about? No one coming down on the court but you can also play basketball alone if you have the basketball. Too bad... Some people are simply too lazy to bring bball down or whatsoever, some are too dependent on others to bring basketball down and some live away from the basketball court so I do not blame them. For me? I happened to be in the “dependent” category now, every since my basketball went burst. Maybe and just maybe, I would get a basketball but you can bet that I will not lend it or use it to play with such AP people; only a few people would get to touch it.

Black Eyed Peas sang the song “Where Is The Love?”. I alter it to “Where Is The Trust?”

PS - Noticed that I've finally use some vuglar language (expletives) but I censored it anyway.

posted by Desprorado @ 08:52 0 comments